neglected pizza

I'm going to let you all in on an issue of great importance we often discuss in the Appel family. We call it the "neglected pizza phenomenon" --this is basically the idea that many movies, typically from the 80s and 90s, often bad horror or family comedy-types, will introduce a pizza into the film during what is a most pivotal, plot-advancing scene. Indeed, it seems that just after the pizza boy arrives and everyone is ready to dig in, a sound is heard, or there is a knock at the door (or whatever)--drawing our characters away from the cheesy, thick crust of the pizza and closer to the cheesier, thickening plot of the movie. We as an audience aren't usually clued in on the fate of the pizza beyond this point--whether or not it was wrapped up and saved in the fridge, or just left out on the counter all night while the characters were off "doing more important things." Sometimes the pizza is even used as a comedic touch to the scene--maybe it goes flying in the air upon bad-guy arrival and lands on someone's head, or we are given a shot later of the family dog eating the pizza amidst the mayhem of whatever shenanigans might be taking place.

The point here is that the pizza goes neglected, often untouched, and before you know it the story is unfolding. This universally enjoyed Italian delight just doesn't get the kind of recognition within the movie industry that it has so rightfully earned among American households. Pizza is delicious, and it doesn't deserve to be used for a cheap laugh, or as some kind of tool for directors to establish "hangin' out" in their movie before they get going with the action. Who will stand up for the pizzas, who? All I'm really asking for here is recognition. Next time you're watching a movie and see this kind of neglect happening, point it out. Look around to your friends and family, and say "Hey, what about the pizza? Who will eat the pizza?"--for the pizza's sake.

Some examples of movies with neglected/abused pizzas: E.T., Home Alone, Spider Man 2, She's All That

Find your own neglected pizza, and show it some love.

fucking hipsters

we miss you...

pretending you're busy

getting around to it

There's something about important paperwork that is so fucking exhausting. Like when you have a somewhat lengthy amount of time to get it in--you probably think about it at least one time every day prior to the actual moment of truth. Things like mail-in rebates or the FAFSA, shit like that. The task is both simple and important, but something holds you back from getting it over with. And if it's something that isn't online, we're talking envelopes and stamps, that's an added challenge. You could say its due to laziness, but I often find myself taking part in far more physically demanding activities than sitting down with a pen and filling out my address and checking boxes for 7 minutes. So what the hell is the problem? Why do we feel so inclined to put things like this off? I say we because I know I'm not alone here. Maybe if you're one of those organized, prompt, punctual freaks you can count yourself out of this one, but I know that I've heard most of the people I surround myself with say "Yeah...I gotta do that soon..." enough times to make this generalization. Anyway, I'm wondering what it is about us easily distracted procrastinator types that drives us to avoid paperwork like it's somebody's ugly baby.

When you actually sit down and do it, it's remarkably easy and equally refreshing. You feel relieved and accomplished like you're really with it. Your mind is at ease (except for all that unexplained blood), and you're ready to take on whatever ridiculously simple challenge life throws your way next.

Also, I probably could have filled out my Verizon mail-in rebate 4 different times since I started this. Eh, I'll do it tomorrow.

love is like a bottle of gin

It makes you blind, it does you in
It makes you think you're pretty tough
It makes you prone to crime and sin
It makes you say things off the cuff
It's very small and made of glass
and grossly over-advertised
It turns a genius to an ass
and makes a fool think he is wise
It could make you regret your birth
or turn cartwheels in your best suit
It costs a lot more than it's worth
and yet there is no substitute
They keep it on a higher shelf
the older and more pure it grows
It has no color in itself
but it can make you see rainbows
You can find it on the Bowery
or you can find it at Elaine's
It makes your words more flowery
It makes the sun shine, makes it rain
You just get out what they put in
and they never put in enough
Love is like a bottle of gin
but a bottle of gin is not like love


Magnetic Fields on the brain these days.
Great song.

i'm really down

the babies are coming!

so it's come to this

Maggie Appel reached new levels of procrastination today and created herself a blog. I think it's safe to say that you, too, will find yourself putting things off longer than usual to read all of the fiddle faddle that I manage to believe is worth sharing with the world. I say world because I assume all of planet Earth (and then some) will be interested in hearing what I have to say about stuff. Also, fiddle faddle isn't really anything but candy-coated popcorn, but now that I have a blog it means whatever I want it to mean.

I name this blog EVERYONE POOPS because it's true, and I think it's really important to remember that small fact in this day and age. You can interpret it literally, metaphorically, sexually, however you like-- all I ask is that you always remember that everyone takes a dump, at least once a day (unless you're as constipated as...Heidi Montag? 10 plastic surgeries or no, I get that vibe from her). So I leave you today with a photo of someone who pinches a loaf each and every day, in case you forgot.

Katie Couric poops.

so does every member of Arcade Fire.